There was no stopping the force inside of me during this time. I was hitting the gym twice a day often, going at the very least six days a week. The weight loss initially was sluggish and I started doubting myself. One day I built up the courage to step on a scale and was ecstatic when seeing I was down ten pounds. That kept me the fire burning in my soul and i eventually blew past my 200 goal and got down to 187.
Hitting that goal was a big deal for me because I hadn’t been under 200 since i was 19 years old. The weight loss journey started at 230 pounds. I hated what i saw when i looked in the mirror. The scale was even worse.
The unfortunate part is at 187 i still saw the same man who weighed 230. Still hated what i saw in the mirror despite everyone around me telling me how great i looked. I had people telling me that I inspired them, it was a real humbling experience.
Life went on, I got a girlfriend and was thriving more than ever. I was the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I even got off of all of my psych-meds which was a big deal to me because I sincerely hated taking them. Life was beautiful.
ALL OF A SUDDEN….
This thing called covid19 happened and soon every gym in my area was closed and i was working from home. Everything in my relationship blossomed, as well did my belly. I started it feeling it in my clothes and got really depressed about it.
A couple weeks ago i stepped on the scale and saw that I’m right back to where i started. I’ve gained all that weight back and have lost all my motivation to get back into working out. Everyday i say I’m going to get in the gym and I always tell myself tomorrow.
I know I’m not alone in this, and it sucks. There’s nothing worse than having low self esteem and wearing it on your sleeve. I will get back to where i want to be and this time i will maintain it. I know i can do this and so can you!
With Love,
Kevin Viani
